Showing posts with label 心情. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 心情. Show all posts

Mar 24, 2012

掌聲響起

每個掌聲
背後都是建立在許多貴人的支持與鼓勵下呀
雖然我還聽不到掌聲
但謝謝默默支持著我的你們 :)
掌聲響起
作詞:陳桂芬
作曲:陳進興

孤獨站在這舞台 聽到掌聲響起來
我的心中有無限感慨
多少青春不在 多少情懷已更改
我還擁有你的愛
好像初次的舞台 聽到第一聲喝采
我的眼淚忍不住掉下來
經過多少失敗 經過多少等待
告訴自己要忍耐
掌聲響起來我心更明白 你的愛將與我同在
掌聲響起來我心更明白 歌聲交會你我的愛

孤獨站在這舞台 聽到掌聲響起來
我的心中有無限感慨
多少青春不在 多少情懷已更改
我還擁有你的愛
好像初次的舞台 聽到第一聲喝采
我的眼淚忍不住掉下來
經過多少失敗 經過多少等待
告訴自己要忍耐
掌聲響起來我心更明白 你的愛將與我同在
掌聲響起來我心更明白 歌聲交會你我的愛
掌聲響起來我心更明白 你的愛將與我同在
掌聲響起來我心更明白 歌聲交會你我的愛

Oct 1, 2011

人生啊

總在自己最得意的地方摔得最重 :(

Feb 26, 2011

摔跤

朋友說我人生所受到的挫折太少,人家說我任性,想著自己一路走來,確實總是顧著自己的未來,涉世越深,我的信念越向功利主義靠攏。

我富有責任感,但我不是工作狂,我喜歡默默地一個人念書做事,但我希望有個人陪伴我聊天、打屁、坎普練。

我的歷練實在太少了,希望我能從一次一次的經驗中成長,成為一位陽光、穩重、可令人信賴的人。

Feb 17, 2011

Jul 17, 2010

壓力

最近壓力真的有點大,開始有很多自己事情降到自己的身上來,家人的健康、親戚的請託、人與人之間的社交活動、醫院臨床學習、實驗室的工作...

我家小妹明年要考國中基測,有兩個表現很優秀的小表弟在他前頭,就讓她有點喘不過氣來,還記得國中那時也是這樣,模擬考稍微考差了,就擔心得徹夜難眠,深怕自己考不到第一志願,現在回頭看起來,那年的考驗只是小意思罷了。人承受壓力真的需要訓練的,學習適度地抒發也是我很需要學習很重要的重要課題,我想要繼續在白色巨塔裡生存,還有許多苦難在等著我的。

May 31, 2010

天阿~

為了一趟公假行程,你知道有多麻煩嗎?

借用一下朋友facebook上的話
I am willing to put myself through anything; temporary pain or discomfort means nothing to me as long as I can see that the experience will take me to a new level-- Diana Nyad, swimmer
加油咯XD

Apr 10, 2010

挫折

人生是一條不停地接受挫折的長路。

Dec 25, 2009

班上幹部

原本對我自己的處理一些雜事的能力還頗為自豪,但這學期當班代半段,因為太過於自信而做出一些錯誤的決定,加上自己剛好又外放,搞得現在自己有種灰頭苦臉的感覺。

我覺得我接受過的挫折還是不夠多,導致常常事情發展得不如我意,心情波折還挺大的。經過前一段感情後,我漸漸能體會到自己的另一半是需要有很高的EQ,能好好聆聽我的訴苦,和我站在同一線打拼,不然往往遇到挫折無人訴苦,感覺還真的是挺難受的 ><

明天就要抽外放籤了,我將何去何從?相信上帝能給我一個美好安排。

Sep 6, 2009

An Amazing Trip for GSK Taiwan Medical Student Scholarship Program in Singapore

Turning into an independent country in 1965, Singapore, a country only 710km2 in size, has become a highly developed and well-known country. I have been there several times since I was a child. Every time I went there, I always found something new and amazing in this country. As a result, I am so glad to have the great opportunity to participate in the GSK Taiwan Medical Student Scholarship Program in Singapore. This trip was such a wonderful experience for me. I will always have wonderful memories of the tidy streets of Singapore, the delicious food and drinks, the cozy Fairmont hotel, the interesting and talented participants and the many lectures and visits.

This year's GSK Taiwan Medical Student Scholarship Program wanted to deliver a number of messages to us: GSK not only manufactures drugs but also focuses on new drug and vaccines development as well as charity. Therefore, one of the most important objectives was to show us what their research and developmental department was doing. Therefore, this trip included many lectures and visits. The first thing we learned was why a pharmaceutical company is interested in a certain diseases. Most of the time, it is profit-oriented, but sometimes is done for charitable reasons, such as developing a malaria vaccine for Africans. Secondly, we learned how to create hormones, antibodies and some compounds to block or depress abnormal gene expression or signal transduction. Next, we learned how to make the compound into be pills or a solution for injection. Finally, we learned the importance of sufficient clinical trial time to ensure the drug will be safe and efficacious for the patient. After the approval of the Food and Drug Administration, the drug can be sold in the long run. From these lectures, we know the whole drug development process and relative topics.

This program provided us a lot of opportunities to communicate with the doctors and researchers at GSK and to learn their research interests as well as their motivation for working in a pharmaceutical company. We also spent a lot of time sharing ideas with other participants and discussing our studies, interests and what we want to do in the future. This really helped me learn something new and different.

Besides having academic activities in the daytime, we had a relaxed and pleasurable time at night. Every supper was very delicious and contained a variety of flavors from different cuisines such as Chinese food, Thai dishes, Indian curries, and Malay cakes. We went to Clark Quay to enjoy a night club, we threw peanut shells at each other while drinking Singapore Sling (a kind of famous cocktail) in Long bar, and we took a fascinating tour to see nocturnal animals at Night Safari.

The most interesting course for me was the visit to Tuas industrial park. The lecturer was perfect because his lecture and orientation were so vivid and clear. It was very easy for me to understand why neuroscience is promising and what difficulties GSK must do their best to conquer. By the way, the laboratory was very clean and tidy and it is difficult to believe that it had already been in operation for a few years. I also liked the visit to Biopolis a lot. It was my first time to visit a drug factory. The vaccine factory was made up of a lot of pipes and machines; although there was a lecture before the visit, I was unable to tell where the pipeline was leading to.

Compared with other participants, I had had less experience in the lab. Some techniques and basic concepts required for drug development I had learned in my high school experience in the lab and biochemistry class in my second year of medical school. However, thanks to many basic science lectures, such as good clinical practice and science of drug development, I developed a more complete knowledge of the process. Due to the language barrier, I still lost some points and could not understand everything with ease. I suggest that the program could provide Powerpoint slides before the lecture; it would be much more helpful for us in learning.

By joining this program, I learned many options to choose in the future besides being a clinician. I know more about the organization of an international pharmaceutical company as well. It was very worthwhile to take this trip :)

Jul 19, 2009

葉子

葉子
詞曲:陳曉娟 演唱:阿桑

葉子 是不會飛翔的翅膀
翅膀 是落在天上的葉子
天堂 原來應該不是妄想
只是我早已經遺忘
當初怎麼開始飛翔

孤單 是一個人的狂歡
狂歡 是一群人的孤單
愛情 原來的開始是陪伴
但我也漸漸地遺忘
當時是怎樣有人陪伴

#我一個人吃飯 旅行 到處走走停停
也一個人看書 寫信 自己對話談心
只是心又飄到了哪裡
就連自己看也看不清
我想我不僅僅是失去你#

--
來台北二十天了,常常搭著捷運從北到南或從東到西,我喜歡看著來來往往的人潮,喜歡觀察每個人的動作,這樣的生活儘管孤單,但確實是一種狂歡。

我喜歡穿梭在人群中,我喜歡用那樣的熱鬧填補我心中的孤單。

May 15, 2009

Still surgeon?

揮別兩個禮拜前鬱悶地離站,今天離站心中又帶了點不捨,這正如同四個禮拜前離開心內、六個禮拜前離開小兒科或十個禮拜前離開腎內一般。

很開心來到一般內科,這兩個禮拜從林醫師身上學到了許多之前自己渴望學到,卻又不知道從何學起的技能,例如醫病溝通技巧、醫學倫理及如何在醫院裡生存。我很喜歡老師那種認真中帶點俏皮的個性,這點和之前跟過的楊生湳醫師及李碩粲醫師在某種程度上還蠻類似的,坦白說我最喜歡這種tone的老師了:D

今天林醫師導生回饋時提到了自己當年選科的情景,他說到他當年對小兒科跟鐘育志醫師,受到鍾教授非常多的照顧,林醫師甚至連放暑假都還去跟鍾教授的門診,Nelson's裡fibromyalgia那整個part都讀完了,畢業後小兒科甚至是他高醫投簽的第一選擇。但是後來他跑去當兵,短暫地離開醫界,反而能從一個比較遠的角度來看自己的未來,頓然發現自己真正有興趣竟然是當初讓他累得快死的內科。老師提也到,要走哪一科,絕對不能單看哪一科的老師對你比較好,或是在哪一科見習或實習得到比較高的成就感,要把角度拉遠,縱橫來評估自己喜歡的是什麼,這講法和之前在小港小兒科時,李雅婷醫師的說法有異曲同工之妙。

轉眼間快樂的五下的見習生活剩下兩周了,不管肝內的生活如何,我對這科仍抱著很大的期望,因為我相信有許多我想學的東西,能在未來兩個禮拜得到答案。

這學期來到內科和兒科,遇到好幾位足以做為自己role model的學長和老師,看著前輩的背影,心中有種想追趕上他們腳步的衝動,但猛回首,想到自己心中對於外科那份熱情與憧憬,心中對內科的喜好,又好似止於對這幾位前輩的仰慕罷了。然而,我又真的喜歡外科麼?這真的是我未來三十年會走上的那條道路嗎?

年初的面試時,我在幾位內科的賢謝面前大顏不諱地表達出我對外科的渴望,然而現在的我卻有所動搖了,我究竟喜歡的是什麼呢?我不知道,但我知道不論如何,我真的喜歡醫學,至今仍不後悔大學選志願選擇走上這條路 :)

Apr 21, 2009

人言可畏

最近很衰,頭籤選到一個和自己tone不大合的老師;在醫院被冠上波波的家人受到學長關注;又聽到些令人耳根子癢癢癢的緋言流語,不論之前說溜嘴的人說了些什麼,有些話已經傳得讓我感到心裡很受傷,以前總愛到處亂講話的話,最近幾件事下來,終於能漸漸體會一些說話的藝術。

傍晚亂入李碩粲醫師的查房,聽到老師的bedside教學,有一掃陰霾的快感阿!!!

不是每件事都能稱心如意阿!唉~這就是人生...

Apr 13, 2009

Dilemma

最近心情實在很糟,在一個極尷尬的處境,這次的事件凝聚起台灣醫學生的士氣,台灣醫聯會裡不少我的好朋友們(包括即將上任的Leo會長),都將挑起大樑對抗這股外來的勢力;從另一個面向來看,我也有家人正在那念書,看著台灣的好朋友們準備對這些外來人士開鍘,在我的心中充滿無限地惆悵。

我相信很多人對這些人士很不諒解,覺得他們只是群遜砲,一群膽挑戰指考的爛咖,沒錯,這點我也十分同意,也因為這一群人的出現,無非重重地賞了許多在高中努力不懈,甚至還要再重考,才能踏上醫學殿堂學子們一記無言的耳光。

現在的我完全沒有任何立場發言,在學校同學們可能覺得我是個支持波波的走狗,在家裡母親不希望我在這個議題上補任何一刀,現在的她沒寄望女兒回來能進大醫院裡接受最好的訓練,而只單純地期望她女兒畢業後能回台灣就業,對公眾議題一向不吝於發表看法的我,這次只能選擇噤聲。

我從來不敢批評這群外來人士的水準如何如何,因為我自己的水準也不是很高,但我可以自豪地說打從我踏入醫院以後,我對醫學的努力、憧憬與熱情絕對不落人後,我也很感謝許許多多教導過我的師長、學長姐們,要不是你們願意花時間傳授你們寶貴的知識給我,我要怎麼茁壯呢?

看著medstudent板上如雪花般波波的酸文,我會將這一字一句刻在我的心頭上,我也會時時警惕我自己,唯有兢兢業業地努力,才有歡喜結果的一天。

Apr 7, 2009

掙扎

最近這個事件真的讓我很難做人,這樣直接衝撞我的立場,我無法反抗但我真的很難受。

今晚這件事後你我就清清楚楚劃清界線,我也不會再你有任何牽連,你是你,我是我,不管過往如何,那都是以前的事。

From now on, I have no comments on that issue.

Apr 2, 2009

My limitation

最近心情極度低沉,感覺到自己實在十分地沒用,這種感覺就像自己在比跳高,我的目標就擺在眼前,但屢次嘗試都敗下陣來,而且摔得鼻青臉腫,好不是滋味。

我想要做得事情好多好多,我的理想也好大好大,我也試著努力地去追逐那些目標,但不斷地失敗幾乎快扼殺了我繼續努力下去的鬥志。

我知道我是個鬥士,但還沒達到目標前我早已遍體麟傷,要不是一路上許多前輩的提攜,不然我早已戰死在這片沙場上...

Jul 27, 2008

TWMLE step1

關於這次國考,我真的很認真的準備了一個多月,儘管這其中有一小段的時間,心情受到了點波動,不過大致看來我很努力在準備這次考試。

早先向幾位一起讀書或是比較要好的同學交換了考完結果的訊息,赫然發現大家考得都還真的蠻高的耶,問說過了沒實在有些冒犯,因為大家少說多都140起跳,幾位比較晚開始唸的同學也都有13oup,另外聽到一些台大的同學,隋便翻翻筆記準備一下就都可以上看140甚至150up,相較之下,準備一個月下來的我,考出這樣的成績實在是智障到了極點…

現在往回看這一個月,我覺得自己有點不自量力,每科都想讀,每個細節都想抓,結果搞到最後階段,有種亂而糊掉的感覺。寫起考古題少說也都有個140~150,或許沒有把我記得不夠牢的點給暴露出來,還我到最後還有點鬆懈的感覺,想說就這樣hold住,應該可以勉強過關就好(結果真的如此orz)。到最後幾天我其實有感覺到自己的記憶開始糊掉了,才警覺該從基本盤著手去著手,才發現先前想要全部都吃光光的心態,實在有如夸父追日。

唉~請大家就別來問我怎麼準備國考了,敗兵之將不能稱勇阿!!!!!!!!!

Jul 23, 2008

嗯,這就是人生

醛醣、酮醣、還原力

我們在高三化學(下)第八章聚合物時見過面,嗯,怎麼我們已經變得如此不熟悉呢?

叱吒風雲,遙想自己高一時曾有過的那個夢,最後只以一個小小的佳作草草作收;放榜的那一天我又做了另一個夢,現在才發現原來那個夢只是個美麗的錯誤。

努力不懈,我一直期許平庸的自己能持續保有這顆求上進的心,接觸的人事物越多,越能體會自己的不足;人在江湖涉世越深,越能窺見當年熱血大浪慘死灘頭的悲壯。

現實生活不可能永遠如我所願,只是我希望我能小心翼翼把這份熱情藏在心頭,伴我挺過每個險惡的時刻。

努力走下去,接受挑戰,儘管很累,不過這就是人生最美的地方 :)

Jul 11, 2008

我想飛

我想展翅高飛,我想越飛越遠,飛離這個嘈雜的世界。

我的翅膀可能不夠強壯,但我會更努力,摔傷墜落我也不害怕。

我想飛,我想飛得又高又遠。

Jun 25, 2008

Yup, No more Block!!

兩年的課程整合生活終於到了個段落,儘管我這兩年的生活不像預期般的枯燥乏味,三大學分修習的比例也有了新的比例,課業和大二相比一落千丈,社團在醫學營、亞醫和校隊生活加總下來,免強和大一二打成平手,愛情部分大概是成長最多的一塊吧XD

兩年下來我對我的成績漸漸不那麼在乎了,總是覺得:盡力就好!反正我也有努力過,應該不至於輸人家太多,康樂學長也說:「在校內是一回事,進醫院又是另一回事。」儘管我一直以來不怎麼相信這句話,不過自從康樂拿到Best Intern後,這句話的可行度頓時上升了不少呀 :P

前天OSCE被電,頓時間「進醫院又是另一回事」的幻影似乎消失了,對於自己的未來生活頓時又充滿千萬的焦慮與不確定感,「andysir = a good doctor」快要被「andysir = a sucking doctor」給取代,我越來越擔心自己的四年來的所學,是否真能在醫院裡幫助病人解除病痛?

國考將至,我實在不該窮擔心這些問題,好好衝刺應該才是當前最重要的議題吧?呼~把這一切的煩惱放下吧!還是努力地衝吧,相信凡走過必留下痕跡,不管成功與否,至少我知道我有努力過地 :)

Dec 31, 2007

My last post of 2007

I am really embarrassed to tell you all my history and background, and what I feel now is very guilty. I really cannot help to explain my feelings, but it seems the more explanations I try the more guilts I have.

I am a little bit depressed in the last few hours of the year, and I begin wondering if I should be that honest to you? Although you say you don't really care about what my past was, I think that is impossible for the shadow on your mind fading away.

If something really happened, I still consider that making friends with you is the most valuable thing I have done in 2007.